“Roots” is a story of a man brought forcefully from his tribe in Africa to America, where he was enslaved to work on a farm. Three generations later his family was free. Another three or four later, the first man in that family goes to university and writes the history of his family in a novel with the same name. One year later a national coverage series about it emerged. What happened in between you may discover yourself, as the importance of their story has another nature for this case.
Recently I began to write about the memories that I never told to anyone. The happenings depicted are those that changed me as a child, through my teenage years, and carved me as a man. Love, stupidity, fear, anxiety, fights, or traumatic experiences, were in the back of my mind for a long time, making me react unconsciously whenever my emotions were out of my sight, or insight. I wrote over thirty pages and it feels like more could come. For now, it is fine, as is just about the memories involving other people, new experiences, and most relevant, the connections between them that I found while writing.
If someone finds himself or herself in a life situation where confusion becomes a predominant emotion or wants to understand his present situation better I recommend writing about your experiences, especially those that you do not talk with others. I also recommend following the next instructions to make it easier for you, as it will make your journey shorter and more meaningful.
- The best result from this writing exercise come if the writer is aware of the fundamental parts of the process, which in this case and many other of my teachings are exploration, reflection and contemplation.
The first part will be exploratory, as writing whatever comes through the mind in its raw form is the best way to see how you perceive yourself, based on your memories. Linearity is not necessary at this moment, as stories can span over years or decades. Talking about love, fear, school, family, friends, etc. should not consider time or space as a fundamental aspect. Instead, focus on the memories that have particular emotions and thoughts in common.
Time and space are relevant if you understand worldwide context, and the history of it, as the purpose of this kind of writing is not autobiographical. Is to help you understand better your way of being. You don’t have to show this to anyone, as very few people could find it meaningful. The important aspects that must be shared are the insights that you will find from the next parts of the process, as those parts can offer to the people that you are going to meet a meaningful experience.
The second part requires reflection on your exploratory writings, as you have to observe yourself as an extension of the human being you are reading about. I recommend you read it entirely first, while observing your thoughts and emotions, as they come and take a moment to enjoy them. You might feel the need to intervene in some parts, as you find better ways to tell the stories or rearrange the words, sentences, or paragraphs, but first just read continuously everything, in one shoot.
Over the next few days, you may approach the writings on the particular parts that made you think, as at this moment if you want you can write between the initial lines what you think about your memories, as a present observer. Before writing I recommend mentally reflecting on your writings and finding the best way to write them further. This way you are going to make a change in your thought process based on your memories and regarding your present actions.
The last part of the process is contemplation of your thoughts, emotions, and present perceptions which will come over the next weeks or months. If the explorative writing may last one week, and the reflective part at least the same, this process requires more time. Contemplating your memories and present activities will come naturally. It may happen on the bus, in the car, in bed, while eating, walking, watching a movie, etc. Present observation will trigger some of your recent thoughts and emotions regarding your memories.
While you go through many memories and experience emotions along thoughts dusted in your being, now is the time for them to become integrated into your life, in new forms, shapes, and colors. During this period, if you feel the need to write, write. If you feel the need to talk to someone, talk. If you feel the need to connect with someone from your past and confess something to him, do it. Expressing your present experiences of the past manifestation which included you is the process that binds parts of yourself with your present understanding. The final part of contemplating will be obvious when you are going to laugh alone, making fun of the situation you were in which felt anxious, fearful, or traumatized.
- The way to inquire during each of the three parts of the process should follow the next line of questioning.
Exploration is based on the question “What happened” along with “Where and when it happened”.The intention is to reveal the important moments of your life, and those simple questions cover everything you perceived, thought, and felt during those moments from your memory.
During the reflective part, the question “How did it happen” becomes relevant, as it will require logical and intellectual thinking. The intention at this moment must shift into a wider perspective, as you have to look at yourself in the context with objectivity, while you use your present understanding to approach memories.
During contemplation, you can find the answers to the question “Why did it happen”, as this inquiry is something only you can manifest, while everyone else is a spectator. The intention is to find connections between what happens in your life now, based on what happened, and further, what would be that which you can do. “Why” is a tricky question, with ever-changing nature. Keep it in mind and don’t share it.
The impact of this process felt to me like a walk through the forest on a warm evening. As you will go at your own pace, feelings will come or go, mix or distillate. Compared to a similar experience that you may have during psychotherapy, in which there will be someone guiding you, and more often making the process either overwhelming harder, or boringly slower. It should not take more than three or four months to have all the thoughts and emotions understood.
Some call this process reconnecting with the child inside you, healing the wounds of the past, reconnecting to your true self, and many other expressions that reflect an incomplete understanding of this phenomenon which we name “being as human” or “human living”.
Remembering is a skill that has to be trained and maintained, or else it will degenerate into sickness. Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other neurodegenerative illnesses are the physical manifestations of the way we are building our mind, as within our brain, the neural structure forms continuously. If we fall into the same pattern of thinking we run our mind in circles until it burns the neurons that hold the information.
Continuously learning about our curiosities is the best-maintaining process, and contemplating on our past experiences is the best cure, if you also find yourself even a little bit lost in the world, or too comfortable, or too lousy and wild.
The impact of this process felt to me like a walk through the forest on a warm evening. As you will go at your own pace, feelings will come or go, mix or distillate. Compared to a similar experience that you may have during psychotherapy, in which there will be someone guiding you, and more often making the process either overwhelming harder, or boringly slower. It should not take more than three or four months to have all the thoughts and emotions understood.
Some call this process reconnecting with the child inside you, healing the wounds of the past, reconnecting to your true self, and many other expressions that reflect an incomplete understanding of this phenomenon which we name “being as human” or “human living”.
Remembering is a skill that has to be trained and maintained, or else it will degenerate into sickness. Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other neurodegenerative illnesses are the physical manifestations of the way we are building our mind, as within our brain, the neural structure forms continuously. If we fall into the same pattern of thinking we run our mind in circles until it burns the neurons that hold the information.
Continuously learning about our curiosities is the best-maintaining process, and contemplating on our past experiences is the best cure, if you also find yourself even a little bit lost in the world, or too comfortable, or too lousy and wild.
Exploration
Write about the memories which are meaningful for you and find the connections between them, up to the present moment. Focus on connection, not conclusions, as those are useless. Compose stories, not biography.
Reflection
Read your writings, in one session first, with a focus on your present thoughts and emotions. Read again the stories that you feel unease about, as those will reveal further meaningful connections for you. Do not rush the thinking.
Contemplation
Over the next months take moments to connect your past experiences with the present manifestation of yourself. Every emotion, thought, or perception has a meaning, and you can discover it through conscious awareness. Do not rush the feeling
Laughter
Find the funny part in every story, as even the most traumatic experiences have a thread that leads to liberation, which is laughing at yourself while you understand it. Emotions, thoughts, and perceptions come and go. Don’t force them to stay.
This description covers widely what you can do to discover more about yourself. Is a way to structure your memories and thought processes in a language. I will only provide meaningful discoveries and insightful understanding if you go through with the reflective and contemplative part. If the first part can happen very wildly, the next two require a conscious effort. Reading someone’s memoirs can be very helpful to get a sense of how their approach was. You can search for someone who you liked from those who lived or still do. My favorites are Nikola Tesla and Catherine the Great, as different they were, the more I learned from their writings.
Whatever you write about at some moment will become sharable, as every story of every human is. At least those who know how to write or speak. It might be meaningful for your children, as they must know the history of the family to learn about themselves. It might offer a meaningful insight for someone else, even a stranger, or your best friend. Whenever a situation similar to ours comes along, there is potential for evolution. Another human can understand something in a moment, while for you happened over years. Or it can happen for you to understand something in a moment. The condition is to be sincere, and writing alone is the safest way to begin.
Life is great, we just do not understand how to enjoy it. Life is suffering only if we do not clean our mind and take care of our memories, as from there our present emotions spring, while in the brain is brought to our conscious awareness. A typical understanding is that emotions form in a part of the brain. I cannot believe that. I feel emotions everywhere in the body, sometimes in every cell.
